How Gynecomastia Took Over My Childhood and Killed My Self Esteem

17 years-old headed for homecoming. No date for a number of reasons, but having breasts was definitely one of them.

I was in the 6th grade when I noticed that I was finally starting puberty. After getting up early one morning to use the bathroom, I noticed that my package was starting to look a little bigger. Like any 12 year-old boy, I was excited to finally become a man. I spent the entire morning at school fantasizing about what changes would come next. A deeper voice? A growth spurt? Facial hair? Maybe even hair downstairs? While all of these things did eventually develop, one thing developed along with them that no one had prepared me for – breasts.

The first memory I have of crying in the mirror occurred about 3 months after noticing that my marbles were growing. While toweling off after a shower, I noticed that my previously puffy nipples had developed into breast buds. In disbelief, I reached for my chest to feel if there was anything really there. Tears filled my eyes and I began sobbing as I stared at myself in the mirror.

My mother heard me and opened the door to check if I was okay. She had to hold back laughing when she witnessed me standing in front of the mirror in my tighty whities, crying with nipples in my hands. She hugged me from behind and told me I was becoming a man. She praised me for being aware of my body and for being mature enough to be worried when I noticed something out of place, then explained that lots of boys (including my older brother) develop breasts during puberty. As I zipped up my pants, she told me it was called ‘gynecomastia’ and ensured me that it would go away by the time I was done growing up.

For the rest of middle school and the entirety of high school, I did everything I could to hide my breasts while I waited for puberty to pass like a storm cloud. Walking to class with my books over my chest, wearing sweatshirts at every possible opportunity, and avoiding any opportunity to have my picture taken. My school only had one boy with gyno, and it was me. I withdrew socially and didn’t get involved in extracurriculars.

My worried quickly grew worried and sent me to a therapist. After our first session, I was encouraged to participate in “normal high school stuff.” So I joined the boy’s swim team at my school. Over the first few weeks, I noticed that the other boys on the team were self conscious about being naked in the locker room or being seen in a skimpy little swim brief during meets. Meanwhile, I didn’t care about my goods being seen in the locker room. I didn’t care that our speedos were small enough that swim meet audiences could tell that I was circumcised. And I certainly didn’t care that our skimpy suits left me with a visble plumber’s crack. However, any time I was out of the water, my arms immediately folded in front of me to obscure any view of my chest. My teammates seemingly understood how much my chest bothered me and never once made fun of me for it.

Me taking the platform during a medley event in the 11th grade, as a teenager in the 2010’s my adolescence was largely captured through shaky, early smartphone photography.

As I grew older and went to college I developed a very disordered relationship with food. Initially losing enough weight to kick off all of my baby fat that I’d carried around for almost 10 years at that point. However, I forced myself to lose more and more weight in the pursuit to finally look “truly skinny” and feel better about the way that I looked. Despite starving myself until my ribs were exposed or doing hours of cardio while avoiding weights like the plague, nothing worked and I still spent my days covering up my chest. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I hated the way I looked because of my breasts and not because of my overall size.

Me at my lowest weight, 120 lbs. Despite wearing skinny khakis with a 29″ waist, I was so thin that my pants would fall to my ankles if I didn’t wear a belt.

This trend continued after college, through medical school, and into residency. By this time, I had regained all of the weight I lost in college, plus some more. It was the worst I’d ever felt about myself. However, the moment of clarity came to me while on my pediatric endocrinology rotation. As I followed the attending physician into the room to see our patient, she explained to me that the patient was being evaluated for gynecomastia.

After listening to her speak to the patient and explain to him the different treatments available, I realized that if a kid could get treated for gyno then I could get treated, too. I reached out to my doctor after talking with a close friend. He agreed that I had gynecomastia after examining me, but sent me to get imaging done just to be safe. Once the imaging came back, he encouraged me to see a surgeon. The rest is history… or rather… the subject of my next few posts.

My medical school graduation – the happiest day of my life prior to seeing my chest post-op for the first time.

How to Pay for Gynecomastia Surgery if You’re Broke

When I first started my blog, I was at a low point in my life. I was struggling hard financially after moving out on my own. This was worsened when I found out that I could get surgery to fix the gynecomastia that I’ve had since childhood. Despite fixing a problem that has caused me years of anguish, the surgery wasn’t covered by insurance. After my first consultation with a surgeon, I was quoted $7275 for surgery and anesthesia. After leaving the clinic, I sat in my car and cried for nearly 30 minutes.

Later that day, I called my best friend for comfort. Even though I was ready to give up, he encouraged me to try to raise the money. Several of my other friends convinced me to do the same. I decided to listen to him and raise funds on my own. Shortly after this, I got a second opinion from a different plastic surgeon that quoted me $5900 and was rated higher than the surgeon I had seen previously. The second evaluation took place in early October and I had raised all the necessary funds by the end of December.

Here’s everything I did to raise $6000 in 2 months:

1. Used a Digital Fundraising Platform (GoFundMe)

I chose GoFundMe to collect donations. Before starting, I opened a new bank account for the funds. This kept my money separate from my regular finances. I could make payments for the surgery directly from this account.

There are many platforms for raising funds. GoFundMe, Donorbox, and Fundly are popular. You can also accept cash, checks, or e-transfers. But GoFundMe was easy for my friends to recognize and use.

If you want to know more about GoFundMe campaigns, I’d be happy to write about it!

2. Used Subtle Advertising Tricks While in Casual Conversation

Advertising your fundraiser is key to reaching your goal. I mentioned my campaign in casual conversations. This led to donations and questions about gyno.

Sharing on social media helps too. But talking about it in person can lead to more donations. A friend in Australia became a big donor after I mentioned my GoFundMe to him. He became a recurring donator and happily helped with paying for a significant amount of the surgery. All this without asking him a thing or even attempting to advertise to him.

3. Paid for the Surgery in Pieces

One of the benefits of gynecomastia surgery being elective is that you can pay off your balance in multiple payments. This is key because surgeons often require a 50% down payment before scheduling. To make installation payments, you can choose between either credit-based plans or paying as you go.

Using credit plans like CareCredit is simpler, but it might not work for everyone. If you’re like me and have limited credit, paying as you go is better. As I mentioned earlier, I kept my GoFundMe money in a separate bank account and made payments every time I got deposit notification. This worked out to be roughly $1000 every few weeks. This method avoids interest and doesn’t require approval, which I think makes it an overall superior option as long as you’re willing to keep track of your payments and watch your income vigilantly.

4. Took Advantage of Unforeseen Incidents

Life can be unpredictable and sometimes funny. A month after starting my GoFundMe, I was in a car accident. Luckily, I was okay, but my car was totaled.

This accident turned out to be a blessing in disguise. I got a check for enough to cover my car and had $6000 left. I had already paid $4500 towards my surgery and needed $1500 more.

Instead of buying a new car, I bought a used Honda Civic for $4000. It was perfect for my needs, and I had $2000 left for my surgery. This way, I could afford both a car and my surgery without having to compromise on my needs.

5. Stayed Positive

Believing in myself was crucial in raising the money. If I didn’t have faith, I wouldn’t have shared my story. People care about you and want to help. Stay positive and you’ll find a way to make it work.

Top 10 Essentials for Resident Physicians

I’ve been out of medical school for nearly 6 months now and I’ve spent the past 4 of those working as a resident physician. Despite being a pediatrics resident and working at a children’s hospital, I’ve been lucky enough to meet plenty of residents a wide range of specialties. EM residents, FM residents, urology residents, ENT residents… the list goes on. I’m also lucky enough to have friends who practice in internal medicine, general surgery, pathology, and almost a dozen other specialties. Over these past few months, I’ve noticed some trends in what my coworkers bring with them to work, what items they use daily, and what items they say they couldn’t live without. I’ve chosen to forgo the obvious, ubiquitous choices of a laptop or stethoscope. Instead, I hope to highlight a few items that are big and may be an investment, as well as a few items that are small and easy purchases. There will be hyperlinks for every item listed as well as a list of substitutes that I like just as much. Lastly, I want to stress that I am not sponsored by any company or product that I list here below. There is no financial incentive for me to recommend any of the products that I am listing today and I have no conflicts of interest to disclose.

Without any further adieu, here are my top 10 essential items for resident physicians:

Item 1: Multi-color Pens

These are number 1 on my list for a good reason – you will always need a pen. It doesn’t matter if you’re in general surgery, psychiatry, pediatrics, or orthopedics, you will always need to jot down notes, sign paper scripts, and fill out student evaluations. Multicolored pens are great for a number of reasons, chief among them being their utility for color-coding. When you’re seeing patients, you have to write down a lot and it’s very easy to lose information in the sea of notes you’ve taken. Color-coding your notes makes it incredibly easy to identify lab values, remember which tasks are urgent, a patient’s phone number, etc. Having multiple colors also allows you to get more longevity out of a pen if you’re only writing in one color at a time. A small tip size (0.5 to 0.75 mm) is a huge plus, as it allows you to fit way, way more info on a page and prevents ink smearing because your lines dry faster.

The pen I see used most commonly in the hospital is also my preferred choice – the COLINK 0.5mm Multicolor Ballpoint Pen 4-in-1 Colored Pens. These are just plain good pens. They’re a nice size, light weight, and have a comfortable grip. They also click very easily and are incredibly reliable. They’re cheap too, and as a broke doctor, 6 high quality pens for $14 is an absolute steal to me. Once I tried these pens out, I noticed them everywhere in the hospital. I even had a medical student point them out to me last night and asked me if I thought they were worth the purchase. I absolutely do.

Other popular choices:
BIC 4-Color Original Retractable Ball Pens
Paper Mate InkJoy Quatro Retractable Ballpoint Pens
Pilot, G2 Premium Gel Roller Pens, Extra Fine Point 0.5 mm

Item 2: High Quality Water Bottle

Despite what the ACGME, AOA, and AMA might have you believe, residents are human beings. One thing all humans have in common is a need to drink water. Outside of a construction site, factory line, or professional wrestling ring, the hospital is one of the most physically demanding places you could work in. You’re on your feet for hours at a time, often standing still for extended periods, repeatedly climbing stairs, or running to/from codes and rapids. You’re also left with little time to eat, drink, or go to the bathroom. Therefore, not only do you not have time to sit down for a meal and a glass of water, but doing so may result in many trips to the bathroom to relieve yourself throughout your shift. Because of this, having a water bottle with you each day is essential for avoiding the nausea, fatigue, and headaches that can come as a result of being dehydrated.

I use a Bubba Trailblazer 40 oz bottle personally. I like that it has a very premium feel at a low price. I paid $14.50 for the bottle and I’ve never had any problems with leaking, insulation, or durability. It has taken a beating and still works perfectly. It looks, feels, and functions identically to higher priced water bottles that I’ve seen coworkers bring but at a fraction of a price. I usually drink an entire bottle’s worth of water each shift, so it’s the perfect volume. It’s also big and heavy enough to avoid losing it, but not so big that it becomes clunky or cumbersome.

Other popular choices:
Owala FreeSip
IRON °FLASK Camping & Hiking Hydration Flask
Nalgene Sustain Tritan BPA-Free Water Bottle

Item 3: Flashlight/Penlight

You would be shocked at how many times you’ll enter a patient’s room where the opthalmoscope just straight up doesn’t work. It will be plugged in with the power on and still not work. And sometimes when they do work, the light emitted is so faint that it’s still practically useless. The number of times where I’ve been forced to rely on my phone’s flash to help me look at a patients pupils, mouth, or throat is embarrassingly high. Now, being in pediatrics I’m obviously going to recommend a fun, frog-shaped light. But if you work with adults, you could easily get other animals, too. Haha, just kidding, obviously I’m going to recommend other models for taking care of adults. But for kiddos, I recommend the Big Discoveries LifeLight Animal Carabiner Flashlight. I clip it right on to my badge lanyard and it stays with me every day. It’s very bright and very fun. The kids love it. 🙂 For adults, I’d recommend the CAVN Pen Light with Pupil Gauge. Both are great options, one is just way more fun than the other, but that’s okay.

Other popular choices:
Big Discoveries WildLight Animal Carabiner Flashlight
Streamlight 66118 Stylus Pro
Primacare DL-9223

Item 4: Electric Trimmer/Foil Razor


Some people like to shave and some don’t. Either choice is okay, but I have patchy facial and body hair so I more-or-less have to shave if I want to look presentable at all. However, washing your face, exfoliating, lathering up, shaving, and cleaning up can take an annoyingly long time. While I am lucky enough to not have sensitive skin on my face, many people complain that shaving leaves them with ingrown hair, acne, or rashes. Having a foil razor solves all of these issues, being quick, easy, and preventing the growth of ingrown hairs. I like the Philips Norelco OneBlade 360 Face + Body. You can use it wet or dry and with/without shaving cream. It has a super long battery life, easy and affordable replacement blades, and comes with a nice selection of guard options. I’ve tried it on my whole body with great success, but primarily use it on my face, stomach, and legs. It takes me less than 5 minutes to shave, even on the busiest mornings. I even use it to line up my eyebrows and it works great!

Other popular choices:
King C. Gillette Men’s All-in-One Styler Cordless Stubble Trimmer
Braun Electric Series 3 Razor with Precision Trimmer
Remington DuraBlade Lithium Hybrid Trimmer and Edger

Item 5: Compression Socks

This one is for you surgeons! I don’t have much to say about compression socks that hasn’t already been said. I don’t personally wear compression socks too much because I’m not standing still for extended periods, but my surgery friends absolutely swear by them. There are also many family medicine and internal medicine doctors that I know who also wear compression socks daily. My favorite ones I’ve used are the Bluemaple 6 Pack Copper Compression Socks. These are unisex and are made with doctors and nurses in mind. There are a ton of fun designs, but also some plain and conservative options if you need to be dressy, too. Honestly, you can’t go wrong with these and at less than $20.00 a pack, they’re cheap and easy to replace.

Other popular choices:
Amazon Essentials Men’s Graduated Compression Over The Calf Cotton Comfortable Fit Knee-High Socks
CHARMKING Compression Socks for Women & Men Circulation
fenglaoda 8 Pairs Compression Socks for Men & Women

Item 6: Blackout Curtains

It’s really hard to get restful sleep when you’re working nights. Especially when it’s spring or summer, making blackout curtains an incredibly helpful home addition for any resident. They’re affordable at around $30 to $50 and are very easy to install. Blackout curtains are also great for radiology residents, as it can help enhance the darkness you have to work in during the day time. I’m also just a dark room/night time kind of person, so I get good utility out of these even when I’m working days.

My preferred blackout curtains are the NICETOWN 100% Blackout Window Curtain Panels, Cold and Full Light Blocking Drapes with Black Liner. I enjoy the 2-tone with black, but NICETOWN’s normal blackout curtains are the most highly reviewed ones on amazon.

Other popular choices:
NICETOWN Halloween Pitch Black Solid Thermal Insulated Grommet Blackout Curtains
LEMOMO Blackout Curtains
BGment Blackout Curtains for Bedroom

Item 7: USB Fast Charger

I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve been half way through a shift and only had 10% battery on my phone. Physicians use their phones a lot. Like a lot. On an average shift, I make between 5 and 15 phone calls from my own cellphone. I also frequently text attendings, fellows, residents, and nurses. My phone is the first thing I reach for when I need to look up dosing guidelines on UpToDate or snap a picture of an injury to include in a patient’s chart. Hospitals also have this weird ability to suck up your phone’s battery. I’m not quite sure why, but literally everyone I know experiences decreased phone battery life while at the hospital, even when accounting for how heavily they’re using their phone. This could be due to the poor reception you get in hospitals, but I’m not 100% sure. Either way, having a USB-C fast charger and cables is a necessity for long shifts where you’re calling a lot of consults and putting in a lot of orders for patients. I am very partial to the brand Anker for all of my electronic accessories. I’m a particularly big fan of the Anker 20W Fast USB C Charger with Foldable Plug. It’s small form factor and fold-out prongs make it very convenient and easy to throw in a bag, purse, or even pencil case.

There are also USB-C fast chargers that are powerful enough charge iPads and laptops if you’re interested in spending a little bit more. But given that most phones, even iPhones, have now embraced USB-C fast charging, having one of these bad boys handy will be a major asset to both you, as well as your coworkers.

Other options:
Amazon Basics 36W Two-Port USB-C Wall Charger
Anker USB C Charger (Nano 65W)
USB C Charger Block Charging Station

Item 8: Badge Reel

Everyone needs a badge reel… yes, even the lanyard chads. To be frank, the ones provided by the hospital always suck. They also give off a boring, sterile energy that I’ve only ever experienced in a dentist’s office. I’m not even going to recommend a specific one because everyone’s taste is different, but I’ll list 3 below that cover the 3 major styles and vibes that I see residents give off.


Funny Cat Badge Reel
Tactical ID Badge Reel with 32” Steel Retractable Cord
Retractable ID Name Badge Holder Reels with Swivel Alligator Clip

Item 9: Noise Cancelling Headphones

I’ve been trying to be affordable and low key with my recommendations, but there’s one that I repeatedly see my coworkers use and discuss – noise cancelling headphones. These are a given for Step/Level 3 studying, charting at home, or just trying to disconnect from the world during break time. They’re also fantastic for use on flights to conferences or bus rides for resident retreats. Honestly, I would recommend these for anyone regardless of who they are and what they do for a living. Most programs will also let you spend your education stipend on a pair, so often times they actually end up being free, too! I am an iPhone user, so I have a pair of AirPods Pro 2’s. These work fantastically with iOS, but I’ve also used them without issue on non-apple phones and PC’s. The noise cancellation is very good and the built-in microphone is adequate for phone calls, Zoom meetings, or telehealth appointments.

Besides the AirPods, I do also own a pair of over-the-ear headphones with noise cancellation. Funny enough they’re also from Anker and I’ve been using them since medical school – the Soundcore Life Q20 Hybrid Active Noise Cancelling Headphones. These have lasted me over 3 years at this point without any problems. I use them for long study sessions, traveling, and working out at the gym. They’re exceptional headphones given that they’re less than $50. I can’t recommend them enough.

Other options:
Sony WH-CH720N Noise Canceling Wireless Headphones
JBL Live 660NC – Wireless Over-Ear Noise Cancelling Headphones
Skullcandy Hesh ANC Over-Ear Noise Cancelling Wireless Headphones

Item 10: OTC Medication

This entry isn’t specific for a reason – you should have a small stash of whatever OTC meds you find yourself needing the most. Migraines are a monthly and sometimes weekly occurrence in my life, so I usually keep Tylenol or Excedrin in my bag. I also keep an antacid and anti-gas/anti-diarrhea medication because headache and upset stomach seem to be the biggest problems I have at work. However you can (and should) tailor your EDC medications to your specific needs.

Header Image Source: https://tinyurl.com/3z688u3

Is the Zinus Green Tea Mattress Worth It? My Honest Opinion

***This review is not sponsored, I paid my own money for this product, and I am not being paid by the manufacturer to make this review***

For the past few months, I’ve been living without a bed. About three months ago, I moved into my first “big boy” apartment after starting residency. Because my previous living situations were a university apartment and my parent’s home, I’ve never had to worry about buying furniture.

However, now that I’m on my own, I’ve had to slowly acquire furniture piece by piece. When I moved into my place, my only furniture was a desk, chair, and a 3-cube organizer. For the first month, i slept on a pile of old pillows on my floor. At the beginning of month two, one of my neighbors threw out a sectional couch worth over $2000. There was absolutely nothing wrong with the couch or included ottoman and it’s incredibly comfortable. I’ve been sleeping on this couch for the past month. However, I recently sold my gaming PC to a friend and was left with nearly $1000 at my disposal. There was exactly one thing that I wanted to buy with my profits – a bed.

While I could’ve spent hundreds of dollars on a name brand mattress, I was lucky enough to be raised in a free school lunch household and I’ve always embraced generic, no-name products. A friend of mine had purchased a generic “bed in a box” from amazon. She seemed happy with her purchase when she initially bought it. After asking her about the mattress, she told me it held up well and she was very happy with it. I asked her for a link and she sent me a link for the ZINUS 6 Inch Green Tea Memory Foam Mattress from amazon.

After roughly zero minutes of deliberation, I ordered a full sized mattress (I am a single guy after all…) and waited patiently for it to arrive to my place. thankfully I have Amazon Prime, so my order shipped for free and arrived at my apartment’s mail room in 2 days. Opening the package was an absolute blast. Watching the bed inflate upon breaking the vacuum seal gave me a strange sense of childlike joy. It only puffed up to 4 inches after taking it out of the box, but the instructions said to give it 24-48 hours to fully return to it’s original size.

How the mattress first appears after removing it from the box.
The Zinus mattress roughly 30 seconds after breaking the vacuum sealed packaging.

Laying down on this mattress for the first time was an absolute dream. I prefer a firmer mattress, but I have a bad hip, so I can’t handle anything too firm. This zinus mattress is medium-firm and is the perfect level of firmness. It’s also has zoned pressure relief to avoid any excess pressure on your joints or muscles, making it even more comfortable to lay on. The mattress foam is also infused with green tea and charcoal throughout, which keeps the mattress fresh throughout the night. The green tea also adds a soothing aroma that helps me unwind and relax when I lay down. Lastly, it’s Fiberglass free and mad with certified Safe Foams and Fabrics. Given how much time we spend in bed, It’s relieving to know that I’m not being exposed to any harmful chemicals or materials.

The 6″ thickness is the only drawback in my opinion. While they do make the mattress in other sizes, I went with the 6″ mattress because it cost the least. While it’s definitely sufficient and a cheap mattress topper can increase the size, I think I should’ve gone with a thicker option. however after two months of living without a bed, I’m happy no matter how thick the mattress happens to be.

Overall, I give it two thumbs up. Definitely a steal for the price. The amazon page for the item will be linked below if you decide that you want to purchase the Zinus 6″ mattress for yourself.

https://amzn.to/4gSy1OB